Robert Stone, A Flag for Sunrise
(Knopf hardcover, 1981, page 332)


"The answer" —Father Egan was saying— "I think they have it on
the prayer wheels. Do you know what it says on the prayer wheels?"
    Most of them had gone to sleep. From among the group only the
girl with the bandaged arm, the feverish girl and her boyfriend, the
dark-bearded young man and the blond giant remained to listen. A
few others had gathered around a fire at the base of the overgrown
pyramid and were smoking marijuana and passing a bottle of color-
less rum. Their laughter sounded a muffled echo off the ancient stone.
    "On the prayer wheels it says, 'The jewel is in the lotus.' They
turn the wheels round hundreds of times a day. The little flags flutter
so the wind says it. The Jewel is in the Lotus."
    The feverish girl moaned and stirred in her lover's arms. Egan
stopped speaking and looked at her and saw that she had the dengue.
He had had it himself several times. He would have to get her some
medicine, he thought, and for a moment he forgot what it was he had
been preaching to them. Then it came back to him. The girl, he
thought, was like a lotus and the pain in her overbright eyes a jewel.
    "The lotus," he told her, "is sweet and fragrant, beautiful in life.
But it's fallible and it's born for death. It's sown in corruption. But
the jewel—" He felt his arm go numb and when he tried to raise it he
could not. "The jewel is undying and beyond time. Beyond measure.
The jewel is the meaning, you see."
    A high-pitched cry sounded from somewhere in the deeper jungle,
a cry that might have been human. Something surprised in the dark.
    "You're the lotus. Your dear bodies that you're so fond of.
You're the lotus. The jewel is in you." Egan laughed and brushed his
sleeve across his mouth again. "The jewel's in hock to you. And the
whole world of mortality is the lotus. And the Living is the jewel in
it. That's the bright side."
    He looked for the drunken man who had heckled him, but the
man had gone away.
    "It is sown in corruption," Egan declaimed, "it is raised  in incor-
ruption. It is sown in dishonor, it is raised in glory. It is sown in
weakness, it is raised in power! On the bright side—everything's fine.
You'd think they'd have no business here whose place is on the bright
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side. Here—it's whirl." He put out his hand and described a spiral
with three fingers. "Whirl is King and it's lonely and in shadow, but
over there—well, that's life over there, that's where the Living be-
longs. But," he said, and tapped his palm with his forefinger as
though citing some father of doctrine, "the Jewel is in the Lotus!
Why?"
    He looked at them each in turn.
    "Why, children?"
    They were all still, watching.
    "Because," Egan thundered, "they're as lonely as we are! The
Living is lonely for itself, for the shard of itself that's lost in us, the
jewel in the lotus." He paused to draw breath.
    "Isn't it wonderful after all? That we're secret lovers. Because
why else would the Living be concealed within this meat, in all these
fears and sweats, the Holy One among the dead? Why would he hide
himself in Whirl to give meaning to a pile of corpses? Why isn't a
campesino just an animal with a name? Why not? Why is there any
meaning in a heap of dead? Or a lost kiddie. A sick little girl, a
drowned . . ." A shudder ran through him and he paused again.
"Because the Jewel is in the Lotus out of loneliness and secret love.
He doesn't have any choice."
    Exhausted, he leaned on the stone. Then he thought of something
that he had once read. Or perhaps he had written it himself.
    "It's hard to see," he told the young people. "You never  know
when you see the Living. The eye you see him with is the same eye
with which he sees you."
    The girl with dengue put her hands on her companion's shoulders
and pulled herself upright.
    "The bands broke," she said, half singing. "The bands broke on
Faithful John's heart." The boy who was with her tried to ease her
back down; she fought him. "The bands broke on the heart of Faith-
ful John," she screamed.
    Egan had sunk to the ground and lay resting against the stela. It
seemed to him that he had made it come out all right. His hand was
on his briefcase, over the bulge of his bottle of Flor de Cana.
    "No, no," he told the girl kindly. "That's not the same at all.
That's a fairy tale."